The Malephabet
An archive of all words male.

Quickie (Kwi-ke)

Quickie – noun, describing a sexual act. Synonym of affair, brief encounter, quick & quiet, rushed rendevous, downlow, fuck-on-the-double, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, rabbiting.

"...it's written all over his face. Not to be confused with a quickie."

"...it's written all over his face. Not to be confused with a quickie."

(Kwi-ke) Origin – Caveman Ugg was premature the night Cavewoman Arr came on to him – he called it a quickie, she called him a disappointment in the cave at the berry-picking circle the next morning.

Quickies come in a number of iterations, almost all of them leaving one party with a shit-eating grin on their face and that warm feeling that only impromptu intercourse can muster. You know the feeling, the one that leaves you feeling proud and naughty.

"Quickies are defined by their spontaneity. Turns out, Quickie also manufactures wheelchairs."

"Quickies are defined by their spontaneity. Turns out, Quickie also manufactures wheelchairs."

Quickies brighten almost everyone’s day, especially during recessive economic periods – where having sex with a trusted partner (or partners – who are we to judge you?) is substantially cheaper* than going out for entertainment.

"The helmets really help prevent spinal damage during especially wild quickies."

"The helmets really help prevent spinal damage during especially wild quickies."

*Note: The Malephabet’s mathematical equations account for safe sex practices. Pregnancy makes sex very expensive – as your bouts of pleasure must be weighed against a lifetime amortized.

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